fuckitybye

[Malc looks pretty jaunty this morning—tired, but in pretty good spirits nevertheless.]

( Good morning, ducklings. )

[OOC: Dear god I only have one left of these to do...]

[Malcolm looks unusually distracted when he comes on screen this morning. It's not immediately obvious, but the background is not his office at the Ministry; it's his home office. He's running late this morning but is determined to get the briefing out at its usual time.]

( don't forget the fucking Arena Games tonight )

[LATER: ( Counter-propaganda alert! )]

[Malcolm's been running around the Ministry of Propaganda all night, spreading around grief like it was Nutella on toast. And it shows when he sits down in front of the camera to give his briefing; those who remember him from the Barge will note that he looks a lot more like his usual vein-popping self than he has since his arrival in Masterworld. Still, he's kind of cheerful. He's got posters to show off, for one thing.]

( All right, no fucking around here. )

[Yes, it's that time again, government officials and propaganda employees. By the way, Malcolm's briefings are eminently leakable. If, say, you were a disgruntled propaganda officeworker or a secret dissident somewhere in the Master's power structure ~~Judas~~.]

( Well, my little shitbirds, we have a new and interesting problem to counter this morning. )

ETA: [Special Delivery to the Master.]

[As usual, the Daily Briefing is visible to everyone on the ministry/government official network, and it's mandatory viewing for everyone in the propaganda wing. Someone, somewhere in the propaganda group is getting smacked upside the head for trying to do work instead of watching the briefing. This happens often.]

( Good morning, little arseweasels. )

[OOC: ...yeah, I actually am trying to put my money where my mouth is on the "daily" thing. I must be insane.]

[This video transmission goes out to everyone in Malcolm's propaganda organisation, and is available to the Master and any ministers and officials within the government. Malcolm in this world? Still sweary, still Glaswegian-sounding, but he wears glasses and also somehow looks about ten years younger than usual. Maybe he's just less stressed here or something.]

( He folds his hands and smiles not-quite-benevolently into the camera. )

[OOC: Yes, I went and updated this post with a BBC Test Card F with some photoshopping. I am sad.]

[Backdated to Saturday morning for mun fail.]

General question for you lot: anyone know where the fuck Paddy Maguire is?

And another general fucking question: anyone got a lead on the wanker who reprogrammed all those fucking laptops, communication systems, what the arse ever? Including this one?

[OOC: At some point during his video conference with Columbus and Claire, Malcolm is bound to discover that someone has been ~~fucking~~ fudging around with his laptop. So...happy April Fool's day, folks. ETA: Also, will provide on request the exact list of what the swearword substitutions are. Some are obvious. Some took a bit more creativity.]

All right, you smug fudging people. If I ever, EVER get my hands on the fiddling bottomhole quaint who fudging hacked my fudging laptop, I am going to make a fudging NECKLACE out of your fingers, you got that?

No fudging respect for other people's property, Christmas. What the heck is this crud?

Fudge it all. I'm done. You twits are getting nothing out of me for the rest of the fudging day.

[That's not true. Malcolm can't help himself and will respond when poked. He's just sulking now.]

[Private to Columbus]

Hey, Wright-Patterson Air Force Base. Am I correct in understanding that I need to go through you if I need something from the Lord High Admiral or whatever?

[After this (still in progress as of this writing but the main damage has been done), Malcolm is in a really bad mood.]

[Filtered to Wardens]
All right, which one of you useless thumbtwiddling twats is in charge of that vampire bint called Verona?

( Cut for swearing. ALL of Malcolm's posts, public or private or anywhere in between, will be cut for swearing, by the way. )

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Recent Entries

011 - Malcolm's Daily Briefing - All work and no play—strike that, reverse it. Or not. Or something.

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008 - Malcolm Tucker's Daily Briefing - Rumourmongers!

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