fuckitybye: (masterworld - phone)
[personal profile] fuckitybye
[Malc looks pretty jaunty this morning—tired, but in pretty good spirits nevertheless.]

Good morning, ducklings. Everyone enjoy the games? Good, good. TV ratings and streaming numbers were solid, I hear. Always a pleasure to see the populace taking an interest in recreation ... blah, blah, fucking blah; all right, small talk over.

[A distinct change in demeanour.]

You've seen our lord and Master's latest broadcast, so I shouldn't need to tell you, but I will for those of you who haven't had your fucking coffee yet—everyone needs to get on the stick prepping for his special broadcast. Anything he needs, we give; he says jump, we say off what building. As usual, yeah, but this is a big 'un. Do. Not. Fuck. This. Up.

Similarly, we all know there's fighting with these Barge cunts going on, and that there have been casualties. However. Apart from the officers he's mentioned, the ones dead and missing? No fucking numbers are to be released without our Master's say-so, and as far as I can tell he hasn't given it yet, yeah? In the meantime, the "support our troops" and "remember our heroes" messaging needs to be hammered on like a dockyard prostitute on two-for-one night. Likewise, the "friends and family" campaign is not to be let up on. At all.

Now, some Ministry business. Social Networking will be glad to know that I have procured for them a brand new server. Take good fucking care of this one, little ones, because you will answer to me personally if it starts glitching. However, we've had to make some sacrifices. Starting today, coffee will no longer be provided in the Ministry. Soon as you use up what we've got, the service isn't being renewed. I suggest you start departmental kitties for your coffee and tea. And finally, Cold Calls is being cut back. Ten of the employees are being furloughed, and you ten should have received your packets this morning. You'll note that the packets also contain a welcome letter from Sanitation. They always need people there, and they'll be very glad to take you on board.

That's all for this morning. Oh, and naturally, because of the broadcast Saturday? The weekend's fucking cancelled.

Tucker out.

[OOC: Dear god I only have one left of these to do...]
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