fuckitybye

[Malcolm is doing this one audio-only, while he's running around the Ministry of Propaganda like someone set him on fire. Anyone watching will see only the Masterworld Channel test card.]

( —the fuck do you mean the best HD camera's on the fritz? )

[OOC: THE LAST ONE. Or is it...?]

[Malcolm's been running around the Ministry of Propaganda all night, spreading around grief like it was Nutella on toast. And it shows when he sits down in front of the camera to give his briefing; those who remember him from the Barge will note that he looks a lot more like his usual vein-popping self than he has since his arrival in Masterworld. Still, he's kind of cheerful. He's got posters to show off, for one thing.]

( All right, no fucking around here. )

[As usual, the Daily Briefing is visible to everyone on the ministry/government official network, and it's mandatory viewing for everyone in the propaganda wing. Someone, somewhere in the propaganda group is getting smacked upside the head for trying to do work instead of watching the briefing. This happens often.]

( Good morning, little arseweasels. )

[OOC: ...yeah, I actually am trying to put my money where my mouth is on the "daily" thing. I must be insane.]

[Backdated to Saturday morning for mun fail.]

General question for you lot: anyone know where the fuck Paddy Maguire is?

And another general fucking question: anyone got a lead on the wanker who reprogrammed all those fucking laptops, communication systems, what the arse ever? Including this one?

[OOC: At some point during his video conference with Columbus and Claire, Malcolm is bound to discover that someone has been ~~fucking~~ fudging around with his laptop. So...happy April Fool's day, folks. ETA: Also, will provide on request the exact list of what the swearword substitutions are. Some are obvious. Some took a bit more creativity.]

All right, you smug fudging people. If I ever, EVER get my hands on the fiddling bottomhole quaint who fudging hacked my fudging laptop, I am going to make a fudging NECKLACE out of your fingers, you got that?

No fudging respect for other people's property, Christmas. What the heck is this crud?

Fudge it all. I'm done. You twits are getting nothing out of me for the rest of the fudging day.

[That's not true. Malcolm can't help himself and will respond when poked. He's just sulking now.]

[After this (still in progress as of this writing but the main damage has been done), Malcolm is in a really bad mood.]

[Filtered to Wardens]
All right, which one of you useless thumbtwiddling twats is in charge of that vampire bint called Verona?

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Entries tagged with gonna give you a spinedectomy

012 - Malcolm Tucker's Daily Briefing - sweating spinal fluid here.

009 - Malcolm Tucker's Daily Briefing - busier than a janitor at an incontinents' convention.

007 - Malcolm Tucker's Daily Briefing - Of Doctors and Davros

005

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January 2014

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