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fuckitybye[As usual, the Daily Briefing is visible to everyone on the ministry/government official network, and it's mandatory viewing for everyone in the propaganda wing. Someone, somewhere in the propaganda group is getting smacked upside the head for trying to do work instead of watching the briefing. This happens often.]
Good morning, little arseweasels. Congratulations to everyone in the propaganda wing for their quick response to yesterday's clusterfuck. In particular, I'd like to recognise the social networking division for covering this thing like a gang of Cossacks on a convent. Good fucking job, you lot. There might be a liquor bonus in your futures.
[Anyone on the third floor of the Ministry of Propaganda will hear a big cheer.]
Howthefuckever, it's not all hookers and blow here, I'm afraid. I'd like to call your attention to this.
[He holds up a flyer. It has nothing but a picture of the Master's face and the words "JOIN US, OR ELSE."]
See this? THIS is some numbknob's idea of effective messaging for the Barge arrivals. The fucking problem is that you've put this whole thing in terms of a fucking threat. What we want here is a carrot-and-stick approach, yeah? We gotta show them the carrot before we tell 'em that they're gonna get the stick up the arse, and I don't see any fucking carrot here. So: Olly Cullen, Judy Lewis, and Emma Foster, I'm fucking talking to you. Better flyers today, you get me? Or you'll be the ones getting the stick, and we'll be using the carrot to shove it.
Now, one last thing for the messaging. Remember that "Friends and Family" campaign we used to bring in that last batch of would-be rebels? The one where we specified what would happen to your fucking friends and family if you gave 'em a hand? Yeah, you remember. We're resurrecting that one, specifically with regard to the Doctor and Davros. Master's orders.
All right, everyone? Work hard or suffer the consequences. Tucker out.
[OOC: ...yeah, I actually am trying to put my money where my mouth is on the "daily" thing. I must be insane.]
Good morning, little arseweasels. Congratulations to everyone in the propaganda wing for their quick response to yesterday's clusterfuck. In particular, I'd like to recognise the social networking division for covering this thing like a gang of Cossacks on a convent. Good fucking job, you lot. There might be a liquor bonus in your futures.
[Anyone on the third floor of the Ministry of Propaganda will hear a big cheer.]
Howthefuckever, it's not all hookers and blow here, I'm afraid. I'd like to call your attention to this.
[He holds up a flyer. It has nothing but a picture of the Master's face and the words "JOIN US, OR ELSE."]
See this? THIS is some numbknob's idea of effective messaging for the Barge arrivals. The fucking problem is that you've put this whole thing in terms of a fucking threat. What we want here is a carrot-and-stick approach, yeah? We gotta show them the carrot before we tell 'em that they're gonna get the stick up the arse, and I don't see any fucking carrot here. So: Olly Cullen, Judy Lewis, and Emma Foster, I'm fucking talking to you. Better flyers today, you get me? Or you'll be the ones getting the stick, and we'll be using the carrot to shove it.
Now, one last thing for the messaging. Remember that "Friends and Family" campaign we used to bring in that last batch of would-be rebels? The one where we specified what would happen to your fucking friends and family if you gave 'em a hand? Yeah, you remember. We're resurrecting that one, specifically with regard to the Doctor and Davros. Master's orders.
All right, everyone? Work hard or suffer the consequences. Tucker out.
[OOC: ...yeah, I actually am trying to put my money where my mouth is on the "daily" thing. I must be insane.]
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"and I don't see any fucking carrot here" is now my life motto.
Date: 2010-04-12 03:52 pm (UTC)I'm tempted to use it next time a coworker tries to get me to do something annoying.
Date: 2010-04-12 05:49 pm (UTC)/cheers. ANOTHER TRIUMPHANT MESSAGE FROM MALCOLM TUCKER! These are the best.
Date: 2010-04-12 07:49 pm (UTC):D thx! Sexby's rumourmongering = material for tomorrow. It really will be daily at this rate.
Date: 2010-04-12 07:52 pm (UTC)OMGWTFCREEPYSHIT
Date: 2010-04-14 05:42 am (UTC)O HAI. I'Z A MUTANT <3
Date: 2010-04-14 05:43 am (UTC)[Ministry Private Memo Whatever]
Date: 2010-04-13 02:00 pm (UTC)[Ministry Private Memo Whatever]
Date: 2010-04-13 02:44 pm (UTC)Taking the fight to our new friends, eh? Good luck.