024 - snakey spam
Jun. 27th, 2010 09:39 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
fuckitybye[Malcolm was en route from the men's bathroom to his room when the flood hit. Now there's a really grumpy (handsomely salt-and-pepper patterned) common European adder (Vipera berus) slithering along the halls. To humans it will sound like he's hissing a lot, but any animals will hear a first-class Malciavellian stream of profanities. Open spam; harass him at will! His eventual destination is the kitchen. Also, I know I owe scheming tags to a bunch of folks; sorry for my fail! I will get to them as soon as I can, promise.]
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Date: 2010-06-27 02:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-27 04:22 pm (UTC)Fraser? That you?
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Date: 2010-06-27 04:25 pm (UTC)I would appreciate it if you didn't bite me though, I believe you're poisonous.
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Date: 2010-06-27 06:39 pm (UTC)[He curls up a little tighter, but shows no sign of striking.]
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Date: 2010-06-27 06:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-27 06:42 pm (UTC)Nah. Think I'll just keep my fucking head down and find somewhere warm. D'you know if Paddy got his arse changed?
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Date: 2010-06-27 06:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-27 06:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-27 06:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-27 06:51 pm (UTC)[Malcolm slithers off, still feeling pretty damn disgruntled, but a little better. Not that he'll admit it.]
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Date: 2010-06-27 06:23 pm (UTC)Better slither away, buddy.]
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Date: 2010-06-27 06:40 pm (UTC)SSSSSSSsssssssSSSSSSSSSSSS!
["Fuck you, you fucking biped shit!" He draws back the front part of his body in an S-shape, about to strike if Adam ventures any closer.]
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Date: 2010-06-27 06:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-27 06:57 pm (UTC)["Bring it, fucker! I fucking dare you! I'll rip your fucking face off! I GOT FUCKING VENOM, YOU SON OF A BITCH." Meanwhile he keeps trying to make his posture as threatening as possible.]
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Date: 2010-06-28 12:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-28 02:24 am (UTC)[OOC: up to you if he hits, of course. His venom is not actually lethal, though it'll hurt like a bitch.]
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Date: 2010-06-28 02:43 am (UTC)Son of a bitch!
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Date: 2010-06-28 02:49 am (UTC)SSSSSSSSS!
["Fuck you, sunshine!"]
[Venom info]
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Date: 2010-06-27 07:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-28 02:27 am (UTC)Ssssssssssss?
[If Rex understands snake/universal animal lingo, it's "And who the fuck are you, Reepicheep?"]
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Date: 2010-06-28 02:34 am (UTC)I should ask you the same question.
[Which, to everybody else, just sounds like a series of chirps and squeaks. He's sort of fixated by the snake right now, as his mongoose instincts are going "KILL KILLLL" and his Cobra Commander instincts are going "ADMIRE IT, YOU FOOL!"]
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Date: 2010-06-28 02:42 am (UTC)Malcolm Tucker.
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Date: 2010-06-28 03:38 am (UTC)[AKA COBRA COMMANDER, is what he wants to add, just to highlight how utterly unfair this is, but he wisely chooses not to. He skitters forward a little, STILL STARING.]
The common European viper. Typically... timid, non-aggressive. Though painful, the bite is rarely lethal. Not at all like the cobra...
[Yes, the mongoose is starting to speechify about snakes.]
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Date: 2010-06-28 03:48 am (UTC)Yeah, very nice. Gotta say I don't feel very fucking timid.
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Date: 2010-06-28 04:16 am (UTC)[He pauses, distracted. He really wants to lunge forward and snap at the snake, but no. He's not going to succumb to the mongoose.]
Anyway. How does it feel? [Tilting his head.] Being a snake, that is. It must be quite an experience.
[ENVY. Rex has it.]
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Date: 2010-06-28 03:24 pm (UTC)Tell you what, I miss having arms and legs and fucking opposable thumbs. Reflexes are fucking brilliant, though.
[Pause.]
And the fangs.
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Date: 2010-06-28 12:31 am (UTC)Bela prowls up behind the snake, slowing as she reaches him. The tone sounds familiar, instinct toward wariness aside.]
Well, well, well. Having a poor time of it, are we?
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Date: 2010-06-28 02:29 am (UTC)I had fucking legs and opposable thumbs when I woke up. What do you fucking think?
[Spam]
Date: 2010-06-28 04:08 am (UTC)[Spam]
Date: 2010-06-28 04:11 am (UTC)SssssssssSS?
[Which is snake/Barge animal lingo for "The fuck is this? Some kind of fucking mutant powder puff?"]
[Spam]
Date: 2010-06-28 04:40 am (UTC)Re: [Spam]
Date: 2010-06-28 03:17 pm (UTC)Malcolm Tucker.
[Spam]
Date: 2010-06-29 03:50 am (UTC)'hopw lkongf doers rthjisd gop ion/'.]
Re: [Spam]
Date: 2010-06-29 01:55 pm (UTC)Couple days? Two or three?
[Spam]
Date: 2010-06-30 05:27 am (UTC)'hjow doi i stpop iot/'.]
[Spam]
Date: 2010-06-30 02:09 pm (UTC)[Spam]
Date: 2010-07-02 06:15 am (UTC)'ok thganksa'.]
[Spam]
Date: 2010-07-02 03:03 pm (UTC)[Spam]
Date: 2010-07-03 07:10 am (UTC)