001 - Voice
Mar. 11th, 2010 09:34 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
fuckitybye[Prior to this, anyone near Malcom's room (level 7, room 5) will have heard him banging about in confusion for a bit; as his cabin looks like his office at No. 10, that's where he thinks he is. Then, in an attempt to page his assistant, he accidentally turns on the voice posting device and a loud Scottish voice is heard:]
—Sam? SAM? The fuck is up with putting a bed in here? This some kind of fucking joke? I can ream out that twat Nicholson just fine with him bent over my fucking desk, aye?
[Pause.]
Sam?
Oh, for fuck's sake—
[Sound of door opening. Long, stunned silence.]
What the fuck?
—Sam? SAM? The fuck is up with putting a bed in here? This some kind of fucking joke? I can ream out that twat Nicholson just fine with him bent over my fucking desk, aye?
[Pause.]
Sam?
Oh, for fuck's sake—
[Sound of door opening. Long, stunned silence.]
What the fuck?
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2010-03-11 07:16 pm (UTC)I'm afraid you can't get out of here or leave, and it's been tried, trust me.
[A long pause, as Howie remembers something you said mid-rant.]
You work in Whitehall?
no subject
Date: 2010-03-11 09:40 pm (UTC)Look, you keep on about the fucking language and I'm gonna put George Carlin's Seven Words on my iPod on fucking repeat and weld the headphones to your ears and you can spend the rest of the day hearing shit, piss, cocksucker, cunt, motherfucker, tits, and fuck until your brain falls out, you got that? And yes, I work in Whitehall. I'm only the Prime Minister's fucking Director of Communications, aren't I?
no subject
Date: 2010-03-11 09:45 pm (UTC)It's a valid point. Nevermind.
...Seriously? What exactly does one of those do?
no subject
Date: 2010-03-11 09:52 pm (UTC)I keep the fucking goverment running, mate. I am the government. The sods are probably changing into the brown trousers even as we speak.
[Pause.]
There any way we can find out what's going on? Back where we came from and all?
no subject
Date: 2010-03-11 09:56 pm (UTC)[Pause, because Howie hasn't considered it much,]
I doubt it. Unless someone comes in from your world. Wardens sometimes leave and come back, but whilst you're here, I'm fairly sure you can't get any information.
Which, I know must be frustrating. Although, if someone comes in from your future in general, you can find out what's happened. I'm slowly filling in about thirty years of my future.
no subject
Date: 2010-03-11 10:02 pm (UTC)[But he sounds a little less confident now. Just for a moment. And then he's back to normal. There's some noises in the background as he digs his Blackberry out of his pocket and tries to make it do.]
They're never gonna survive the election now. Fucking bad enough when I was there, but the head's off the bloody chicken now, and—fuck.
[Electronic chirping, none of which sounds very promising.]
Afterlife's got no mobile reception, does it? Of course not.
no subject
Date: 2010-03-11 10:12 pm (UTC)There's definitely no [he pauses, as he has to put two and two together to work out what he means by that term] mobile reception either. Not even a newspaper. I think you might have bigger concerns.
no subject
Date: 2010-03-11 10:14 pm (UTC)So what do I fucking do then? Sit on my happy arse and wait for Judgement Day?
no subject
Date: 2010-03-11 10:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-03-11 10:34 pm (UTC)Jesus Christ.
no subject
Date: 2010-03-11 10:39 pm (UTC)[another long pause, and a sigh]
This is going to sound quite surreal, I know. But in your world, nobody outside of say, TV and books has supernatural powers, or is a vampire or... anything like that, right?
no subject
Date: 2010-03-11 10:45 pm (UTC)There's a couple of wankers in Whitehall that I'd call vampires, but they're not the bloodsucking sort.
You're about to tell me this place has fucking got 'em, aren't you?
no subject
Date: 2010-03-11 10:49 pm (UTC)[Private]
...yes - we've got about ten by my count. It was just as strange to me as it is to you. There's also some angels, wizards, and... Time Lords.
My inmate can produce electricity on her own. There's a lot of incredulous things here.
no subject
Date: 2010-03-11 10:51 pm (UTC)[Private]
Ha. Nice. So now hold fucking on. Actual bloodsucking vampires. Magic. And ... did you just say Time Lords?
private
Date: 2010-03-11 10:53 pm (UTC)I did. At my count, we have three versions of the Doctor, but have had five at one point in the past - I only recognise Tom Baker, one version of the Master, again, we used to have two, and the Rani. Who I've never heard of.
Don't ask. Just accept that I'm not lying.
private
Date: 2010-03-11 10:56 pm (UTC)Just tell me that skinny twat with the spikey hair's not here. Had enough of his smug little face on every fucking channel over the holidays. My niece loves him, god help her.
private
Date: 2010-03-11 10:58 pm (UTC)I...think he might be, but he's an inmate. I don't know how that worked.
private
Date: 2010-03-11 11:01 pm (UTC)Re: private
Date: 2010-03-11 11:03 pm (UTC)I suppose he's your fellow apparatchik, in a way. Sorry about that.
Re: private
Date: 2010-03-12 02:52 pm (UTC)Re: private
Date: 2010-03-12 04:14 pm (UTC)Re: private 1/2
Date: 2010-03-12 04:47 pm (UTC)Re: private 2/2
Date: 2010-03-12 04:47 pm (UTC)private
Date: 2010-03-12 04:49 pm (UTC)