021 - malcolm is a maudlin drunk.
Jun. 11th, 2010 08:39 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
fuckitybye[Audio. Malcolm's Glaswegian accent has thickened considerably.]
What's the fucking point, yeah? Bein' a useless cunt out here in the fucking ... arse-end of the fucking universe, not a fucking friend in sight and your family gone and fucking ... superheroes and things'll rip your fucking throat out and ... this is supposed to help?
Fuck this cack-brained shit in the ear with a fucking screwdriver.
[Click. Audio off. He'll respond to anyone who feels like hassling him via journal, but some time later, anyone wandering up on deck will find Malcolm standing at the railing staring morosely off into the distance. In his left hand he clutches his useless Blackberry and this photograph. Feel free to come spam Malcolm and, if you dare, ask him about the photograph. Also, sorry for spamming with Malc posts this morning. Done now.]
What's the fucking point, yeah? Bein' a useless cunt out here in the fucking ... arse-end of the fucking universe, not a fucking friend in sight and your family gone and fucking ... superheroes and things'll rip your fucking throat out and ... this is supposed to help?
Fuck this cack-brained shit in the ear with a fucking screwdriver.
[Click. Audio off. He'll respond to anyone who feels like hassling him via journal, but some time later, anyone wandering up on deck will find Malcolm standing at the railing staring morosely off into the distance. In his left hand he clutches his useless Blackberry and this photograph. Feel free to come spam Malcolm and, if you dare, ask him about the photograph. Also, sorry for spamming with Malc posts this morning. Done now.]
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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Date: 2010-06-11 02:00 pm (UTC)Nothing helps.
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Date: 2010-06-11 02:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-11 02:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-11 02:26 pm (UTC)There was a fucking time ... I could've built a fucking life raft of shit. I could ride that fucking shit-river all the way to the fucking OCEAN and brandish my SHIT-PADDLE in the faces of those CUNTS AND TOSSERS who pushed me in ...
Fuck.
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From:Billy is an INCREDIBLY DUMB DRUNK. Sorry Malc :c
Date: 2010-06-11 02:04 pm (UTC)Why is the barge so fuck fuck shit? All the walls-- the walls are made of cunt!
[Brief descent into giggling, then he recovers to LOUDLY DECLARE:]
AHHHM MALCOLM!
[AND THEN THE COMEDY OF HIS WORDS BECOMES TOO MUCH FOR HIM AND COMPLETELY UNCONTROLLABLE LAUGHTER SETS IN.]
THANKS, I DIED. :D
Date: 2010-06-11 02:09 pm (UTC)You're welcome!
Date: 2010-06-11 02:16 pm (UTC)Ahhhm no' Billay Connoley, AHHM FUCKING MALCOLM, Stop being a nonbelieving fucking atheist cockarm!
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Date: 2010-06-11 02:27 pm (UTC)Big ol' nitrous COCK made me lol so hard :c
From:I don't know where some of this comes from, tbh.
From:It's glorious. I love it :c
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From:[Spam]
Date: 2010-06-11 02:34 pm (UTC)Hello there!
[Spam]
Date: 2010-06-11 02:41 pm (UTC)Sod off.
[Spam]
Date: 2010-06-11 02:46 pm (UTC)In a while, perhaps. What's wrong?
[Spam]
Date: 2010-06-11 03:15 pm (UTC)[Spam]
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From:no subject
Date: 2010-06-11 03:47 pm (UTC)I do have a most sincere message for you. Once. Once, sir, I did arrest thee. You were playing golf and did not see us coming for you.
You should have seen it, your Highness, you should have seen it coming.
For what tyrant is not held to his people's account? Even by the authority of a sword.
'Twas, indeed, a wonderful day, when I arrested you in Oxford. I shall laugh and laugh and laugh and oh, was that your head falling from the scaffold?
Poor, tragic tyrant. Such a tale of woe.
Yours,
Colonel Edward Sexby,
Parliamentary Army,
Year of Our Lord 1658 (not 1665. Never 1665)
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Date: 2010-06-11 04:03 pm (UTC)I thought you were dead of the fucking plague.
Sincerly,
Malcolm Tucker Not King Charles Fuck Off
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Date: 2010-06-11 04:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-11 04:13 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2010-06-11 03:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-11 04:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-11 04:08 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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From:[Action Spamalamadingdong]
Date: 2010-06-11 04:47 pm (UTC)So it might be a little surprising when 47 turns up a few feet away, looking out at the view. He doesn't turn to Malcolm as he speaks.]]
What is it you see?
Re: [Action Spamalamadingdong]
Date: 2010-06-11 06:06 pm (UTC)What I see is a big fucking baldy creeper.
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Date: 2010-06-11 08:40 pm (UTC)An eyebrow twitched at the 'creeper' comment. He wasn't creepy...was he? Nika hadn't seemed to think so, but. Well. Look at what you were raised to do and think on it again.]]
I think it's a requirement to be such a thing in one way or another if one's goal is to be able to pass through any security throughout the entirety of the world.
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Date: 2010-06-11 06:37 pm (UTC)oh look, DRUNK GUILT.
Date: 2010-06-11 06:41 pm (UTC)Sorry, love. Didn't mean ... That fucking allowed, then? Being friends with your inmate? Never can tell 'round here, what's ... fuck.
Yesss.
Date: 2010-06-11 06:47 pm (UTC)Are you okay, Malcolm?
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