fuckitybye: (fuckin' thinker)
fuckitybye ([personal profile] fuckitybye) wrote2010-06-11 08:39 am

021 - malcolm is a maudlin drunk.

[Audio. Malcolm's Glaswegian accent has thickened considerably.]

What's the fucking point, yeah? Bein' a useless cunt out here in the fucking ... arse-end of the fucking universe, not a fucking friend in sight and your family gone and fucking ... superheroes and things'll rip your fucking throat out and ... this is supposed to help?

Fuck this cack-brained shit in the ear with a fucking screwdriver.

[Click. Audio off. He'll respond to anyone who feels like hassling him via journal, but some time later, anyone wandering up on deck will find Malcolm standing at the railing staring morosely off into the distance. In his left hand he clutches his useless Blackberry and this photograph. Feel free to come spam Malcolm and, if you dare, ask him about the photograph. Also, sorry for spamming with Malc posts this morning. Done now.]

[identity profile] inhumandog.livejournal.com 2010-06-11 02:00 pm (UTC)(link)
No. It doesn't help. No point in trying.

Nothing helps.

[identity profile] inhumandog.livejournal.com 2010-06-11 02:16 pm (UTC)(link)
And we're all drowning in it.

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[identity profile] inhumandog.livejournal.com - 2010-06-11 14:42 (UTC) - Expand

Billy is an INCREDIBLY DUMB DRUNK. Sorry Malc :c

[identity profile] my-freeze-ray.livejournal.com 2010-06-11 02:04 pm (UTC)(link)
[IN AN INCREDIBLY THICK FAKE SCOTTISH ACCENT:]

Why is the barge so fuck fuck shit? All the walls-- the walls are made of cunt!

[Brief descent into giggling, then he recovers to LOUDLY DECLARE:]

AHHHM MALCOLM!

[AND THEN THE COMEDY OF HIS WORDS BECOMES TOO MUCH FOR HIM AND COMPLETELY UNCONTROLLABLE LAUGHTER SETS IN.]

You're welcome!

[identity profile] my-freeze-ray.livejournal.com 2010-06-11 02:16 pm (UTC)(link)
[Twatsponge? Oh my god, that is the best word Billy has ever heard ever! He is literally gasping for air it is so funny. When he starts to come down, he adds to his tapestry of humor:]

Ahhhm no' Billay Connoley, AHHM FUCKING MALCOLM, Stop being a nonbelieving fucking atheist cockarm!

[Spam]

[identity profile] grand-lotus.livejournal.com 2010-06-11 02:34 pm (UTC)(link)
[Yeah, being drunk just makes Iroh MORE aggressively nice. Who could've guessed. And there's someone on the deck who looks unhappy - let's go and be friends with him! He waves.]

Hello there!

[Spam]

[identity profile] grand-lotus.livejournal.com 2010-06-11 02:46 pm (UTC)(link)
[You don't get away that easily, Malcolm! Iroh sets his arms on the railing, leaning comfortably.]

In a while, perhaps. What's wrong?

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[identity profile] accountsettled.livejournal.com 2010-06-11 03:47 pm (UTC)(link)
My Dearest Majesty,

I do have a most sincere message for you. Once. Once, sir, I did arrest thee. You were playing golf and did not see us coming for you.

You should have seen it, your Highness, you should have seen it coming.

For what tyrant is not held to his people's account? Even by the authority of a sword.

'Twas, indeed, a wonderful day, when I arrested you in Oxford. I shall laugh and laugh and laugh and oh, was that your head falling from the scaffold?

Poor, tragic tyrant. Such a tale of woe.

Yours,
Colonel Edward Sexby,
Parliamentary Army,
Year of Our Lord 1658 (not 1665. Never 1665)

[identity profile] accountsettled.livejournal.com 2010-06-11 04:07 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, but my majesty, I came back just to make sure you didn't go and lose your head.

[identity profile] christ-onabike.livejournal.com 2010-06-11 03:55 pm (UTC)(link)
...That was creative.

[identity profile] christ-onabike.livejournal.com 2010-06-11 04:08 pm (UTC)(link)
Well, you fucking were. Don't come to fucking work today, if you're as pissed as you sound.

[Action Spamalamadingdong]

[identity profile] doeswhatido.livejournal.com 2010-06-11 04:47 pm (UTC)(link)
[[Malcolm, do you hear those footsteps behind you? Of course not—they're rather inaudible, after all.

So it might be a little surprising when 47 turns up a few feet away, looking out at the view. He doesn't turn to Malcolm as he speaks.]]

What is it you see?

[identity profile] doeswhatido.livejournal.com 2010-06-11 08:40 pm (UTC)(link)
[[What is with all the drunks today? Must have been that water thing...a flood, they called it. But a drunk flood? How little sense did that positively make?

An eyebrow twitched at the 'creeper' comment. He wasn't creepy...was he? Nika hadn't seemed to think so, but. Well. Look at what you were raised to do and think on it again.]]

I think it's a requirement to be such a thing in one way or another if one's goal is to be able to pass through any security throughout the entirety of the world.

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[identity profile] some-kinda-hero.livejournal.com 2010-06-11 06:37 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm your friend. Or...at least, I thought I was.

Yesss.

[identity profile] some-kinda-hero.livejournal.com 2010-06-11 06:47 pm (UTC)(link)
Of course. I was friends with Serena before she left. You just can't be dating your inmate, that's all.

Are you okay, Malcolm?

Private

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