021 - malcolm is a maudlin drunk.

[fuckitybye]

[Audio. Malcolm's Glaswegian accent has thickened considerably.]

What's the fucking point, yeah? Bein' a useless cunt out here in the fucking ... arse-end of the fucking universe, not a fucking friend in sight and your family gone and fucking ... superheroes and things'll rip your fucking throat out and ... this is supposed to help?

Fuck this cack-brained shit in the ear with a fucking screwdriver.

[Click. Audio off. He'll respond to anyone who feels like hassling him via journal, but some time later, anyone wandering up on deck will find Malcolm standing at the railing staring morosely off into the distance. In his left hand he clutches his useless Blackberry and this photograph. Feel free to come spam Malcolm and, if you dare, ask him about the photograph. Also, sorry for spamming with Malc posts this morning. Done now.]

Comments

You're welcome!

[my-freeze-ray.livejournal.com]

[Twatsponge? Oh my god, that is the best word Billy has ever heard ever! He is literally gasping for air it is so funny. When he starts to come down, he adds to his tapestry of humor:]

Ahhhm no' Billay Connoley, AHHM FUCKING MALCOLM, Stop being a nonbelieving fucking atheist cockarm!

[fuckitybye]

Just fucking shut it, Doogie Howser. Hitting the fucking nitrous, are we? Sucking on a big ol' nitrous COCK?

Big ol' nitrous COCK made me lol so hard :c

[my-freeze-ray.livejournal.com]

Who's Doogie Ho-- I mean Shut up your fucking mad name calling, fuckface! AHHM MALCOLM! Not any old nahme you choose! And, and! If AHH suck on a-- um, I mean Anything I suck on? MALCOLM sucks on!

Because AHHHHHHM MALCOLM!

I don't know where some of this comes from, tbh.

[fuckitybye]

Oh yeah? Then I'm sucking on your mummy's TIT, Simon In the Land of Chalk Drawings. Since I reckon you never fucking STOPPED.

Christ almighty, you are a fucking AMATEUR.

It's glorious. I love it :c

[my-freeze-ray.livejournal.com]

Dude, way too much information about your private life right there. Oedipal Complex much?

[fuckitybye]

[Triumphant cackle of short-lived glee.]

And that's why you're a fucking AMATEUR, Bod. You got to be willing to GO THERE. It's the only way to shut the other cunt up.