fuckitybye: (fffffffffffuuuuu--)
fuckitybye ([personal profile] fuckitybye) wrote2010-04-01 08:28 am
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[OOC: At some point during his video conference with Columbus and Claire, Malcolm is bound to discover that someone has been fucking fudging around with his laptop. So...happy April Fool's day, folks. ETA: Also, will provide on request the exact list of what the swearword substitutions are. Some are obvious. Some took a bit more creativity.]

All right, you smug fudging people. If I ever, EVER get my hands on the fiddling bottomhole quaint who fudging hacked my fudging laptop, I am going to make a fudging NECKLACE out of your fingers, you got that?

No fudging respect for other people's property, Christmas. What the heck is this crud?

Fudge it all. I'm done. You twits are getting nothing out of me for the rest of the fudging day.

[That's not true. Malcolm can't help himself and will respond when poked. He's just sulking now.]
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[identity profile] bubble-mobile.livejournal.com 2010-04-01 03:05 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, sir Howie. Is it not just wonderful!?

[identity profile] kingfor-aday.livejournal.com 2010-04-01 03:07 pm (UTC)(link)
It's a nice change, I'll say that much.
fuckitybye: (fucking annoyed)

[personal profile] fuckitybye 2010-04-01 03:09 pm (UTC)(link)
Oi. Just leave off, all of you. Christmas.

[identity profile] kingfor-aday.livejournal.com 2010-04-01 03:19 pm (UTC)(link)
Alright, alright. You could just try constructing your sentences in a different way? Then you don't get 'fudge' in the middle of a relatively sensible sentence.
fuckitybye: (i'm pointing at you you stupid fuck)

[personal profile] fuckitybye 2010-04-01 03:27 pm (UTC)(link)
Yeah, right, I'm trying, okay? Sugar. It's a darn good thing that fiddler Barwick isn't around to see this. Or anyone else from home.

[identity profile] kingfor-aday.livejournal.com 2010-04-01 03:29 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm sure they'd find it hilarious.

At least you didn't get bleeped. Then you'd never complete a sentence.
fuckitybye: (glare of death)

[personal profile] fuckitybye 2010-04-01 03:30 pm (UTC)(link)
Yeah, I'd be practically fudging mute.

...Gosh darn it, this sugar is driving me mental.

[identity profile] kingfor-aday.livejournal.com 2010-04-01 03:38 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm fairly sure that if you say anything with enough vehemence, it'd still work.

Which I guess is what I'm going to get if I suggest you learn something from this?
fuckitybye: (i'm fucking talking to you)

[personal profile] fuckitybye 2010-04-01 03:39 pm (UTC)(link)
What I've learned is to change the password on this piece of ess-star-star-tee that is my laptop.

[identity profile] kingfor-aday.livejournal.com 2010-04-01 03:51 pm (UTC)(link)
Well, that'd be sensible.

This is possibly an advantage to being several decades behind the general level of technology here.
fuckitybye: (glare of death)

[personal profile] fuckitybye 2010-04-01 05:17 pm (UTC)(link)
Yeah, well, you're not going to get some fiddler hacking pen and paper, that's true.

[identity profile] kingfor-aday.livejournal.com 2010-04-01 05:58 pm (UTC)(link)
At least it's just a joke?
fuckitybye: (frowny face)

[personal profile] fuckitybye 2010-04-01 07:36 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, aye. Could've been blooming worse and all. Still, I don't much care for the idea that some guy can hack my things, you know?

[identity profile] kingfor-aday.livejournal.com 2010-04-01 07:38 pm (UTC)(link)
No, me neither. Don't you work in the government? Surely you must be pretty good at keeping things safe on there?
fuckitybye: (oh for fuck's sake)

[personal profile] fuckitybye 2010-04-01 07:41 pm (UTC)(link)
Don't get me fudging started on information security in Whitehall. These fiddlers I work with lost seven months of snotting immigration statistics once.

I feel like my effing IT fiddler followed me here.
Edited 2010-04-01 19:41 (UTC)

[identity profile] kingfor-aday.livejournal.com 2010-04-01 07:45 pm (UTC)(link)
This is a really disconcerting thing to learn about the people you work for. Even in an indirect sense.
fuckitybye: (malcolm tucker explains it all to you)

[personal profile] fuckitybye 2010-04-01 07:47 pm (UTC)(link)
You know the saying about goverment being like effing sausage-making? Well, the last couple years have been a lot of ess-star-star-tee sausages.

[Yes, this is Malcolm trying to find ways around the hack filter. And sort of succeeding.]

[identity profile] kingfor-aday.livejournal.com 2010-04-01 07:57 pm (UTC)(link)
Hate to interrupt you, but I think you're cheating.
fuckitybye: (fucking annoyed)

[personal profile] fuckitybye 2010-04-01 08:00 pm (UTC)(link)
[NNNNNNNNNGK.]

Well, excuse me for getting a bit blooming sick of sounding like an effing Notting Hill yummy mummy trying not to corrupt her precious little Clive's ears.
Edited 2010-04-01 20:01 (UTC)

[identity profile] kingfor-aday.livejournal.com 2010-04-01 08:02 pm (UTC)(link)
Then try constructing a proper sentence without either a swear word or the obligatory replacement in it.
fuckitybye: (fuckin' thinker)

strikes SO unreadable.

[personal profile] fuckitybye 2010-04-01 08:11 pm (UTC)(link)
If it weren't so clear you weren't from Glasgow and if you weren't fudging fictional I'd half suspect you of knowing my mam. Sounded just like her for a second there.

[identity profile] kingfor-aday.livejournal.com 2010-04-01 08:16 pm (UTC)(link)
Hate to say it, but she might have had a good point.

[identity profile] bubble-mobile.livejournal.com 2010-04-01 03:11 pm (UTC)(link)
I have not felt such joy in a long time.

[identity profile] kingfor-aday.livejournal.com 2010-04-01 03:21 pm (UTC)(link)
Perhaps we ought not to take too much pleasure in... well, I'd say his misfortune, but I'm not sure it is.
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