004

[fuckitybye]

[OOC: At some point during his video conference with Columbus and Claire, Malcolm is bound to discover that someone has been fucking fudging around with his laptop. So...happy April Fool's day, folks. ETA: Also, will provide on request the exact list of what the swearword substitutions are. Some are obvious. Some took a bit more creativity.]

All right, you smug fudging people. If I ever, EVER get my hands on the fiddling bottomhole quaint who fudging hacked my fudging laptop, I am going to make a fudging NECKLACE out of your fingers, you got that?

No fudging respect for other people's property, Christmas. What the heck is this crud?

Fudge it all. I'm done. You twits are getting nothing out of me for the rest of the fudging day.

[That's not true. Malcolm can't help himself and will respond when poked. He's just sulking now.]

Comments

[kingfor-aday.livejournal.com]

Well, that'd be sensible.

This is possibly an advantage to being several decades behind the general level of technology here.

[fuckitybye]

Yeah, well, you're not going to get some fiddler hacking pen and paper, that's true.

[kingfor-aday.livejournal.com]

At least it's just a joke?

[fuckitybye]

Oh, aye. Could've been blooming worse and all. Still, I don't much care for the idea that some guy can hack my things, you know?

[kingfor-aday.livejournal.com]

No, me neither. Don't you work in the government? Surely you must be pretty good at keeping things safe on there?

[fuckitybye]

Don't get me fudging started on information security in Whitehall. These fiddlers I work with lost seven months of snotting immigration statistics once.

I feel like my effing IT fiddler followed me here.

[kingfor-aday.livejournal.com]

This is a really disconcerting thing to learn about the people you work for. Even in an indirect sense.

[fuckitybye]

You know the saying about goverment being like effing sausage-making? Well, the last couple years have been a lot of ess-star-star-tee sausages.

[Yes, this is Malcolm trying to find ways around the hack filter. And sort of succeeding.]

[kingfor-aday.livejournal.com]

Hate to interrupt you, but I think you're cheating.

[fuckitybye]

[NNNNNNNNNGK.]

Well, excuse me for getting a bit blooming sick of sounding like an effing Notting Hill yummy mummy trying not to corrupt her precious little Clive's ears.

[kingfor-aday.livejournal.com]

Then try constructing a proper sentence without either a swear word or the obligatory replacement in it.

strikes SO unreadable.

[fuckitybye]

If it weren't so clear you weren't from Glasgow and if you weren't fudging fictional I'd half suspect you of knowing my mam. Sounded just like her for a second there.

[kingfor-aday.livejournal.com]

Hate to say it, but she might have had a good point.