024 - snakey spam

[fuckitybye]

[Malcolm was en route from the men's bathroom to his room when the flood hit. Now there's a really grumpy (handsomely salt-and-pepper patterned) common European adder (Vipera berus) slithering along the halls. To humans it will sound like he's hissing a lot, but any animals will hear a first-class Malciavellian stream of profanities. Open spam; harass him at will! His eventual destination is the kitchen. Also, I know I owe scheming tags to a bunch of folks; sorry for my fail! I will get to them as soon as I can, promise.]

Comments

[fuckitybye]

I'm a fucking adder, mate; course I'm poisonous.

[He curls up a little tighter, but shows no sign of striking.]

[bob-fraser-snr.livejournal.com]

Would you like me to take you somewhere? [He's hoping this won't be a fox in the river scenario.]

[fuckitybye]

[Malcolm considers it and sort of bobs his head "no".]

Nah. Think I'll just keep my fucking head down and find somewhere warm. D'you know if Paddy got his arse changed?

[bob-fraser-snr.livejournal.com]

I saw him talking to Uhura. He's normal.

[fuckitybye]

Ah, well, fucking good for him then. Maybe I'll go pay him a visit. Hope he's not got a fucking phobia of snakes.

[bob-fraser-snr.livejournal.com]

Good luck, Malcolm. He's in the kitchen right now.

[fuckitybye]

Ta, mate. Good fucking luck to you too.

[Malcolm slithers off, still feeling pretty damn disgruntled, but a little better. Not that he'll admit it.]