014

[fuckitybye]

[Malc needed someone to terrorise and so he went off in search of Columbus, only to discover he's nowhere to be found.]

So has Christopher Robin fucked back off to the fucking Hundred Acre Wood, then?

Not even two months and one fucking warden already gone. This is better than my first two months in Whitehall.

Comments

[doeswhatido.livejournal.com]

What PM did you work for?

[givesomeback.livejournal.com]

Hm.

So, if you don't mind me asking, what exactly was your fucking crime?

[Private]

[talldarksaviour.livejournal.com]

Oh I don't care. I pretend to care occasionally. Drives people up the wall.

Sorry, didn't mean to antagonise. It's like I'm on autopilot.

Mega Man needs an inmaaaaate

[grayatonement]

I'm on my.. sixth.

Re: Private - If this is over the line, let me know. I can edit.

[heavenonthemind.livejournal.com]

He listens. He listens more than God does.

Re: Private - not at all. And, er, likewise.

[fuckitybye]

Not hard to listen more than God does, seeing as how I'm not fucking sure God exists.

HMM.

[fuckitybye]

Fucking christ.

How long you been here?

[some-kinda-hero.livejournal.com]

It's nice to meet you, Bob. How long have you been here? I always feel awkward and guilty not knowing everyone, big as the Barge is.

[bob-fraser-snr.livejournal.com]

No need to be guilty, Claire, just arrived a day or two before the crash.

[fuckitybye]

The Zygote said some catshit about needing to treat people better, which means fuck-all as far as I'm fucking concerned. Sure, I sacked a few cunts and wrote their fucking resignation letters for them, but it's not like I fucking sent them out to die in fucking bloodsports, you know?

[fuckitybye]

Same one as you'd have met when you were there. And when he stepped down, Tom "Nutter" Davis.

[nnnnng fuck you, Armando Iannucci, for not giving a name to Tom's predecessor]

[doeswhatido.livejournal.com]

I know Tony Blair, but I wasn't sure if we were from the same...world, you could say, as each other. Blair always seemed like a nice guy.

[fuckitybye]

What the fuck kind of a joke name is Blair

Yeah, well, I reckon we must be from different worlds, then. Seems to be a fuckload of that going around.

[Malc can see the fourth wall now, but he reckons it's the other guy's, not his. Someday the shoe will drop, though.]

[doeswhatido.livejournal.com]

...you wouldn't happen to know the name "Vladmir Putin," would you?

[fuckitybye]

I've met the bastard.

[doeswhatido.livejournal.com]

You're telling me you've met the man who controls Russia and yet Tony Blair wasn't your Prime Minister? Wow, that is strange.

[fuckitybye]

Well, maybe some fucker in a white coat can explain properly how all these fucking "alternate worlds" fit together. There's some good fucking reason I'm sure.

Re: Private

[heavenonthemind.livejournal.com]

He exists. Somewhere.

Re: Private

[fuckitybye]

Tell yourself whatever you need to fucking get by, I guess.

[doeswhatido.livejournal.com]

I'm also assuming you don't know the inspector at Interpol who's been tracking me since 2004, either, or the Russian president Mikhail Belicoff.

Re: Private

[heavenonthemind.livejournal.com]

I do.

[fuckitybye]

Interpol's not my thing. And the Russian president where I'm from is Dmitry Medvedev.

[Private]

[fuckitybye]

Fair enough.

[doeswhatido.livejournal.com]

Haven't heard of him...

[fuckitybye]

Well, I haven't fucking heard of your Blair, and you haven't heard of Medvedev, so I reckon we're even.