fuckitybye (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
fuckitybye) wrote2010-04-14 09:10 am
fuckitybye) wrote2010-04-14 09:10 am
Entry tags:
009 - Malcolm Tucker's Daily Briefing - busier than a janitor at an incontinents' convention.
[Malcolm's been running around the Ministry of Propaganda all night, spreading around grief like it was Nutella on toast. And it shows when he sits down in front of the camera to give his briefing; those who remember him from the Barge will note that he looks a lot more like his usual vein-popping self than he has since his arrival in Masterworld. Still, he's kind of cheerful. He's got posters to show off, for one thing.]
All right, no fucking around here. Priority number fucking one is this cunt here. [He holds up a photo of Davros.] We need to redouble all efforts to focus the citizenry's efforts on finding him, killing him, and turning him the fuck in— roughly in that order, anyway. We're getting his ugly-arse mug everywhere it can be seen, spreading around as much dirt as we can on him, implying that if you join up with him he's gonna do unspeakable things to your bits with that wheelchair of his—the lot. We're gonna deliver him into the hands of the army, or the police, or the Master himself, but we are gonna fucking deliver.
Now, on a happier note, many thanks to Julius and Terri in Public Entertainment for turning out this on notice shorter than a circus dwarf:
[OOC: Try to pretend that this sucks less than it actually does, folks.]
And by the way—yes, everyone in propaganda is strongly fucking encouraged to attend. I'll be there. We'll fucking all be there. It'll be a great day; fun for the whole fucking family and everything.
Last and least, there's a new farming project starting up next week. There'll be a ceremony, groundbreaking, digging into the pigshit and all; you know the drill.
REMEMBER. NONE of this merriment means any of you lot get to fucking slack. Keep on message on the Barge, the Master's enemies, and especially this Davros cunt. We want them all, dead or alive or fucking around somewhere in between, but we want them. Keep that messaging out there and don't fucking let up.
Tucker out.
All right, no fucking around here. Priority number fucking one is this cunt here. [He holds up a photo of Davros.] We need to redouble all efforts to focus the citizenry's efforts on finding him, killing him, and turning him the fuck in— roughly in that order, anyway. We're getting his ugly-arse mug everywhere it can be seen, spreading around as much dirt as we can on him, implying that if you join up with him he's gonna do unspeakable things to your bits with that wheelchair of his—the lot. We're gonna deliver him into the hands of the army, or the police, or the Master himself, but we are gonna fucking deliver.
Now, on a happier note, many thanks to Julius and Terri in Public Entertainment for turning out this on notice shorter than a circus dwarf:
[OOC: Try to pretend that this sucks less than it actually does, folks.]
And by the way—yes, everyone in propaganda is strongly fucking encouraged to attend. I'll be there. We'll fucking all be there. It'll be a great day; fun for the whole fucking family and everything.
Last and least, there's a new farming project starting up next week. There'll be a ceremony, groundbreaking, digging into the pigshit and all; you know the drill.
REMEMBER. NONE of this merriment means any of you lot get to fucking slack. Keep on message on the Barge, the Master's enemies, and especially this Davros cunt. We want them all, dead or alive or fucking around somewhere in between, but we want them. Keep that messaging out there and don't fucking let up.
Tucker out.
LOL. Judas wonders wth is up with all these lamb references.
From: Chief of Finance, Judas
Subject: RE: RE: Last night's discussion
Body:
Good. Did you finish that new expense report, clearing up 7% for a server?
Best part is, Malc is totally pulling it out of his arse.
From: Minister Tucker
Subject: RE: RE: RE: Last night's discussion
Body:
Attached. Decided to furlough half of cold calls and also cut the coffee budget. Fuckers will have to start an office kitty if they want their caffeinated beverages.
[Budget is attached. It's down from seventy pages of small print to sixty-five.]
LOL. Oh Malc. These two need to have a legit conversation back on the Barge.
From: Chief of Finance
Subject: [Blank because that RE thing was getting on Judas's nerves]
Body:
Another sixty-five pages? Good God.Where are we putting the half of cold calls? Did we decide on sanitatshun?yes, yes they do. :D
From: Minister Tucker
Subject: RE:
Body:
Yeah. They needed to replace staff anyway; turnover's a bitch.
/writes it into the scheduuuule
From: Chief of Finance, Judas
Subject:
Body:
That's one way to put it. I have a question for you, Minister, why is the type so small?
no subject
From: Minister Tucker
Subject: RE:
Body:
Trying to keep the paper budget under control. Smaller type, fewer pages.
no subject
From: Chief of Finance, Judas
Subject:
Body:
Understood. I thought you had a grudge against me, Minister.
no subject
From: Minister Tucker
Subject: RE:
Body:
Grudge? Not at all. The fuse on the temper's not as long as it could be is all. Only fucking human, yeah?
no subject
From: Chief of Finance, Judas
Subject:
Body:
True. Thank you, Minister, for your patience. I will let you know tomorrow if we've akuired the server.