001 - Voice

[fuckitybye]

[Prior to this, anyone near Malcom's room (level 7, room 5) will have heard him banging about in confusion for a bit; as his cabin looks like his office at No. 10, that's where he thinks he is. Then, in an attempt to page his assistant, he accidentally turns on the voice posting device and a loud Scottish voice is heard:]

—Sam? SAM? The fuck is up with putting a bed in here? This some kind of fucking joke? I can ream out that twat Nicholson just fine with him bent over my fucking desk, aye?

[Pause.]

Sam?

Oh, for fuck's sake—

[Sound of door opening. Long, stunned silence.]

What the fuck?

Comments

[beam-me.livejournal.com]

We're not letting you back in to Glasgow, lad.

[fuckitybye]

You the fucking mayor or something then, chum?

/FALLS OVER DEAD FROM GLARE

[beam-me.livejournal.com]

Aye, that I'm not, but I am Montgomery Scott of the USS Enterprise and I'll knock yer lights out if you come home stinkin' of those bloody jocks.

[fuckitybye]

You're who?

[beam-me.livejournal.com]

Montgomery Scott. Scotty. Call me Scotty.

Oh Christ, please don't tell me we're related. My mum... her heart wouldn't take the news too well.

[fuckitybye]

Scotty. Enterprise. As in Captain Kirk and all that shit, yeah?

[beam-me.livejournal.com]

Yeah, yeah. That's the one. The Captain's here, in fact. Where'd you hear?

[fuckitybye]

[Malcolm snorts. It's a very dry, end-of-the-rope laugh.]

Oh my fucking Christ, you have got to be ... Don't tell me, the pointy-eared fucker is here too?

[beam-me.livejournal.com]

Oi, oi, tone it down, mate! Christ! His name is Commander Spock, and yeah, he's aboard too. The Lieutenant, too. And the good Doctor.

[fuckitybye]

[Sounding as stunned as Malcolm ever does.]

Oh fuck me.

[Scotty's not getting any more of Malcolm for now.]

[beam-me.livejournal.com]

Uh, sorry? What's that, again?

[HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND, MAL.]

[fuckitybye]

[HE'LL TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IT WHEN YOU'RE OLDER.]