[OOC: At some point during his video conference with Columbus and Claire, Malcolm is bound to discover that someone has been fucking fudging around with his laptop. So...happy April Fool's day, folks. ETA: Also, will provide on request the exact list of what the swearword substitutions are. Some are obvious. Some took a bit more creativity.]
All right, you smug fudging people. If I ever, EVER get my hands on the fiddling bottomhole quaint who fudging hacked my fudging laptop, I am going to make a fudging NECKLACE out of your fingers, you got that?
No fudging respect for other people's property, Christmas. What the heck is this crud?
Fudge it all. I'm done. You twits are getting nothing
out of me for the rest of the fudging day.
[That's not true. Malcolm can't help himself and will respond when poked. He's just sulking now.